| sudan |
[Sep. 10th, 2006|05:14 pm] |
have been trying to learn about:
Sudan. i thought i had some of it -- but it was just a droplet of very recent info. what is happening now -- the janjaweed, the genocide - is connected to sudans extremely violent past. after colonization, britain drew lines around the black christian and animist, resource rich south and the arab muslim desert resource depleted north. they have been fighting every since. the arabs were given control of everything, and part of that has been killing the southerners. lost boys -- they mujahadeen (sp?) came through, killed the men, took the women and girls, and left these boys to fend for themselves. they tried to walk to safety, many dies, got to ethiopia, stayed until war broke out there, zigzagged back and forth, more and more died, and finally a few thousand were given refugee status here in the US and have been invited here.
It extremely hard to imagine the sort of childhood memories that result from that kind of lifestyle. most of the boys were 6 or 7 when they started that journey. are they angry? obviously they're survivors, but i wonder what that means. |
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| improvements. |
[Sep. 10th, 2006|04:59 pm] |
woke up this morning for an overseas interview -- was logistically easier than i thought, but im always trying to figure out how to improve my interview style. they always end faster than i anticipate, and i forget that they can't immediately flow like conversation -- you need to ask questions in order for the interviewee to get the opportunity to talk about what they want. so, i think i need to spend some more time anticipating from their angle -- what would they want to be able to talk about regarding their particular experience. hmmmm....
ben is on the couch frowning at the football on tv. im just learning to realize that his anger at things like football and bad drivers isnt under my control.
this is my first weekend as a real, salaried, m-f type worker, and i can finally appreciate how important the weekends are. i get it.
getting a bit of work done in the morning has improved my mood and put a stop to the self-flaggelation. something to remember -- soon will be waking up early and getting a bit of someting done - i think it will help set the tone. also, im rememebering college life, and how possible it is to go to the coffeeshop, leave to attend some classes, then come back. so, now i can do that same thing. leave the house in the morning. come back in the evening. will make the days feel very full and also connect me to the community of freelancers at the murky here.
susan sontags diaries in the times magazine has inspired me to start keeping note of all the happening in my life - before they become unrememberable. i have millions of notebook -- i will start attaching dates to the notes for posterity. |
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| lost freedoms |
[Sep. 8th, 2006|09:28 am] |
so, my life of leisure is kind of done (although i have some friends who think it hilarious to call three hours per day of scheduled work "not leisure"), and im mourning the loss of my freedom. the past three years have been fabulously freeing -- never knowing what 3 months from now will look like, and entertaining the thought of great trips around the world. of course, not really having the money, due to chosen lifestyle, to make those trips. ive been able to succesfully support myself, write and teach, and realize how ive gotten used to getting very attached to projects/students and then being able to say goodbye after about 2 months. it just works for me, or ive learned how to say goodbye and let myself embrace to pain of getting attached and then losing something. I do feel a twinge of sadness and bittersweet that i will never know what the students are going to end up doing, but have started just enjoying the time we have together. and am a master rememberer - nostaliga factory.
so, ive started teaching a couple class -- newspaper,yearbook - at a private high school here. lots of things to get used to again -- teenagers, the pace of high school (feels so slow!), making my way into the community that is already so tight knit, not having adult conversations (i must make time for them -- freelancing from my apt. and teaching 17 year olds doesnt naturally allow for it, and im realizing how important it is. but then, parents must go through this manyfold...). And a big one -- the scheduling and working in writing. usually im pretty good at procrastinating all morning and then starting in the afternoon and really producing for a good chunk of many hours. now, i start the procrastinating process and then have to drive across town for 4 hours right in the middle of the day, then come back and somehow regain my momentum. im scared because ive done a terrible job of it this week --- no writing at all has happened. i need to figure out a way to make this work. my deadlines are still creeping up on me, and i will produce the 4 articles that i am contracted to before the end of september. i must.
just so these things are in paper, on the internet is a somewhat public and binding way, before the end of september i will:
write 25 pages and conduct 5+ interviews for kiplingers about how to start a business in india
follow Bobby jindal around all day, and write " a day in the life of bobby jindal"
write an ayurveda feature
(maybe, if i can get my hands on a recorder) interview dave eggers about his sudan book
ok. ill do it. im on it. i can pack my day with things -- the growing pains of efficiency are harder than i thought. |
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| giving myself a heart attack |
[Jul. 19th, 2006|03:43 pm] |
My life has gone lady of leisuretime to complete overdrive. Im driving myself crazy dealing with the current crisis -- i need to get to New jersey tomorrow for two pretty exciting stories - one indian billionaires house in the suburbs and one ayurvedic spa in hoboken. Then, a manhattan night where i finally get to meet my editor and stay with katya... so, the problem is that my car is still in the shop waiting for a teeny tiny part and i dont really know how im going to get up there tomorrow. rent a car? drive ben's terrifyingly shaky car? take a train and hope someone can pick me up somewhere?? right now im waiting on answers and pacing..
on a happy note - things have gotten busy! ive started my big kiplingers project and have gotten some good feedback already, and have made some major strides -- it now seems like something im capable of doing. and Field school teaching is going to start in late august. i feel like a part of DC, finally. Ive been daydreaming about what projects i can set this kids with, field trips, exercises, advice. and to be able to finally add some steadiness to my life, somewhere to be every day, have a paycheck, etc -- wonderful. And i just got word from Nick that i will be representing the internationalast at a fabulous DC event in a couple weeks, where ill get to hear lots of smart people talk about interesting things. the roosevelt instituion - the student run think tank - is putting it on.
im glad to be getting back to being connected to the internationalist world of ideas. they're definitely what I want to be thinking about. right now my stories are about: doing business in India, lifestyles of billionaire indians, and ayurveda. All very india centered, which has been a really good way to learn about the country, and what i realize now is one thing that people will hire me to do -- its something i know. but i do miss thinking about international politics from time to time -- although its been extremely depressing recently. maybe its been for the best.... |
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| back to basics |
[Jun. 19th, 2006|08:13 pm] |
i've revived my interest in yoga and meditation today, and am feeling very rewarded. my yoga-ing has dropped off since leaving seattle, where 8 limbs was so close and so excellent -- i always left completely blissed out, strengthened, calmer, and picked up new meditation tips every time. so, during an afternoon storm on a tiny space in my apartment, i sat comfortably and controlled my breath for a few minutes. its absolutely amazing how transporting it was and how little time it took. why am i not doing this every day?? my mother is a fan of repeating a mantra (as are the transcendentals) but i find that my mind always wanders off of it -- so much harder than it sounds. so, i watched my breath - in for 6, hold for 6, out for 6, hold for 6.
a catalyst in this was a visit to gwen and patricks yoga garden site , where patrick has been keeping an excellent blog -- a piece about the improved instinct trust that comes from m and y was just the extra push that i needed to renew my interest. thanks guys! very inspiring. |
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| home and away |
[Jun. 9th, 2006|12:06 pm] |
i am temporarily exiled from my primer/paint filled apartment -- happy that the orange air-conditioner juice that has been dripping from out neighbors home will finally be gone, but have to amuse myself around DC for 6 hours. one of the downfalls of having a studio -- i actually considered pretending that my closet is another room to hang out it while they're working -- its not. so im out in the neighborhood with my laptop.
neighborhood has actually been feeling really friendly and neighborhoody lately - i have an eye doctor of my very own, a post office, and have made it -- im officially a regular at Murky Coffee. they know what i want, we share life tips (my latest for all writers - mediabistro.com. i think it might change my life, and i cant believe i havent been using it all this time. an excellent resource. ive already sent out two hopeful queries and there seems to be an endless horizon of new mags looking for writers.), and i feel comfy looking through discarded washington posts for a crossword. its still at the mysterious stage - ive been making up enchanting stories about all the other regulars and the world-changing things they're doing (and have done my fair share of laptop spying to find some writers, reporters, law students). im sure everything will be illuminated to its true ordinaryness soon enough, but i love this stage.
that said, im aching for an adventure abroad in a huge way these days. its been more that 2 years now since ive been out, and im getting antsy. everything is reminding me of it -- yesterday Nick sent out haleys adventure columns in the Seattle Times and it was extremely inspiring. ben and I are in long term fantasy mode, planning to go to south america for a year after his 2 year contract at pirg is up (there was an article in the nytimes yesterday about how gen xers will quit jobs to take long adventure vacations rather than deal with the standard 2 weeks) and megan has invited me to Oaxaca to help her with the chocolate factory while she deals with some lifestyle changes - its incredibly, distractingly tempting. But, i can't convince myself that I am stable enough, financially, to go. i dont "deserve" it. This has increased the fervor for the ideal plan -- publish at least 3 sellable articles this summer, work at kaplan at least 10 hours a week, and get myself to Oaxaca sometime in the Fall. it will be a great way to at least get myself a rudimentary knowledge of spanish, take some pictures again, and im sure i can get an article out of it - the Unitierra where she works is doing some really amazing things. and of course to get to spend time with megan, grind chocolate and sell it at the market, dance. ah, the fantasy of it. (of course, im going to london/scotland with the fam in october, which will be fantastic and will surely satify many desires.)
time to get back to work -- for today, writing letters to magazines trying to convince them to let me write... |
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| inconvenient truth |
[Jun. 5th, 2006|11:55 am] |
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an excellent DC weekend -- saturday trip to great falls for a hike around. browny, slightly smelly water was a tiny bit disturbing (living with an environmentalist has really increased my anger at water polluters) but the trees were beautiful and smelled great. then poker with friends in the evening where B and I both made some money -- so strange to make money off of friends. then, sunday of a walk down to murky for coffee and then sitting in the park reading to paper and watching the dogs and children run around. and an inconvenient truth at night. everyone needs to see it (and come to e street, where we can drink wine and watch). full of important truths about global warming, and the most frustrating part -- its avoidable. all the technology is available to fix things, reduce our dependency on carbon emitters, with no affect on our economy at all. so why arent people doing it? i dont understand at all. it will harm no one and its so important - the only thing i can see if fear and denial and not wanting to change what they way you live your life. and , i suppose, the oil industry. selfish to a degree where they are willing to sacrifice the health and safety of their grandchildren just to make money now. disgustsing.i |
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| chapel hill delights |
[May. 29th, 2006|05:43 pm] |
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Chapel Hill weekend -- a playground. Ben and i got into town late on friday after having an extreme hunger fight on the road and from then on it was amazing. running around town, beautiful wedding, dancing, playing football very sincerely (even though no one would throw to me - but kate and i would run into each other, high speed, doing a wild football intimdation arm dance, laughing hysterically, every time. and we had our glory moment -- a catch and a tackle), being at driade and weaver street catching up with kate, patio loco and west franklin and remmi in the later night, a sunday of brunch and riding, terrified, on the back of a motorcycle with ben. being slightly sweaty from the southern summer heat in the happiest possible way - it makes you incapable of doing anything serious and to want to run around like children. |
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| no more mag. |
[May. 10th, 2006|02:55 pm] |
sfter a recent bout of busi-ness in DC (interviews, tutoring, out of town friends to show around), im on my way back to NC for a week, and im so excited.
a night in Chapel hill to attend a Masala Beat Club night, to dance and to take pictures and to write about it. I think this story is going to be in the Indian American, and i will be proud to present them to the world in my own way. and to get to dance! its been too long to not do something thats brings me so much pure joy. Then, to charlotte for mothers day and a week with my mother, to hang out while she's healing and to learn many things.
I just spent too much time reading old emails, from the cusp time - after graduating and before entering the real world (not that im really actively in the real world now). it was wild to realize how much time was spent analyzing and theorizing about my life, and thinking of many things, past and future, in the abstract. Now it seems like such a delicious and rare treat - im not sure why. it was a very real and comprehensive and lovely way to digest what was happening to me. Now i feel like a) sometimes theres just isnt enough time to digest things or b) i have nothing to digest or c) i have ben to orally debrief with at the end of every day.
katya came this weekend, and this allowed me to see my life from an objective (and optimistic) viewpoint. she thinks DC is beautiful, and now i am seeing more how that may be true. beautiful to look at - plenty of flowers and trees. and there are parks and monuments and amazing museums everywhere. there is great oppurtunity to learn in the town. and to do really really interesting and fulfilling work. I guess i just feel a real urgency to become part of the community and to find all the moving interesting real life stories that i know have to be out there in this place. this probably means that i need to leave my laptop during the day more often. and to take advantage of all the free self-expanding opp's there are here - lectures and concerts and minds.
Bad news of the day -- the Internationalist website is undergoing a complete overhaul, and no more 101! im a little devastated - it was my opportunity to learn so much about international happenings. now i will have to be independently vigilant. maybe this will be my new 101. it might end up looking really great, and there may be a place for my writing there everyone once in a while, but not the regularity of weekly 101. i feel like its forcing me into reality here.
am about to venture out into the beautiful spring day. |
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| Save Darfur! |
[Apr. 30th, 2006|11:06 pm] |
An excellent rally was held on the lawn today in efforts to save darfur and stop the genocide. enormously terryifying situation, and it was excellent to see all kinds of caring folks wandering around capitol hill today showing their support.
My column this week is about it - i learned once and for all why it started, and looked at the monstrous facts. |
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